Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
