I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
