At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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