His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I looked at my own cervix.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
