YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
