You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
