I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
