you win again, gameday.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day šš#pensacolaproblems
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. Iām starting to see why you drink so much.
I just puked on a sprinklerā¦Motherfucker tried to spray me
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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