problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize