Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
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I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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