Welp...herpes.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
