You're my little dorito
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
