So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
