After last night, I could never be a politician.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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