Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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