im gay
i know
yea but for you.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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