you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
