Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
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i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
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Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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