I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You took a bar mat shot.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
