i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize