I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
