Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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