well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
