it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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