FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
