Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The power of my boobs compel you
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
