Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
