Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
