If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
