Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
