I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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