He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
