tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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