sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We don't watch enough power rangers
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
