You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Apparently you make a good broom.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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