I think scott just propositioned me for sex
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
