I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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