Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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