We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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