Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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