A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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