kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
