vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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