I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize