weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.