hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.