life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
