he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
