like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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