remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
