I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
id be glad to
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I have fence marks all over my body
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
