Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
