Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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