My hand turned me down
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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