He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Shame - the story of my life.
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