I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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