grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
