Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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