Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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