i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
